Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
