so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
