Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
