Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
