so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I am naked and annoyed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
