I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
