didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
