You're so nebulous sometimes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
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He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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