I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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