Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
