The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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