We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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