I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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