and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
