I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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