You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...