ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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