Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
