her vagine was all disorganized.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
