He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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