okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
