she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
