hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
