i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
