It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I die, sorry about rent.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
