Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
