dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
