So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
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its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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