its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
