The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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