I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
