I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
