He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
