Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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