She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
