My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
