We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize