He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
