Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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