it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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