Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
