evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
