I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
