Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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