So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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