So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
