I am puke
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
