Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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