My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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