Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
