i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You took a bar mat shot.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
