i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
