whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
