I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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