FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize