They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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