You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
