Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
