i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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