we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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