i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
