I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
