Please, let me fuck your mom
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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